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Plagarising Mrs. Mallaprop

There is decorum in these matters,
We allude our vigilence
and perpetrate our scheme.
Lydia and her pineapple
perfection, tries our tempers.

We wait.
We win, not Lydia.
Suspended and headstrong
like an allegory on the Nile -
She had hoped for her.

She begs our pardon directly,
We had forfeited her molevolence
forever, and our lack of pineapple,
no excuse.

But I say it is, miss;
I know there is nothing
on Earth so easy as
to forget, such,
remembrance that
illiterates such pleasure.